Respite Care in New Jersey: How Family Caregivers Can Get a Break

By the care managers at Connections Care Management · Updated November 2026

Why does respite matter?

Caregivers often wait until they are completely worn down before asking for help. By then, their own health, work and relationships may already be suffering. Respite is not a luxury. It is part of what lets you keep caring for your loved one at home, and it can help avoid a move to a nursing home before one is needed.

If you are feeling exhausted, irritable, isolated or hopeless, please read our guide on caregiver burnout too. Those feelings are signs you need support, not signs you are failing.

What kinds of respite care are there?

• In-home respite. An aide or companion comes to the home for a few hours or a full day while you go out, rest or take care of your own appointments.
• Adult day programs. Your loved one spends the day at a supervised program with activities, meals and sometimes health services. Some programs specialize in dementia.
• Short-term residential stays. Some assisted living communities and nursing homes offer short stays, from a few days to a few weeks, while a caregiver travels, recovers from surgery or simply rests.
• Informal respite. Family, friends, neighbors or faith communities taking regular shifts.
• Hospice respite. For people enrolled in Medicare hospice, short inpatient respite stays can be arranged so the caregiver can rest.
• Emergency respite. Back-up care when the caregiver suddenly becomes sick or has a family emergency.

What is the New Jersey Statewide Respite Care Program?

The Statewide Respite Care Program is run by the New Jersey Department of Human Services, Division of Aging Services, and managed locally through each county's Aging and Disability Resource Connection (ADRC), usually the county Office on Aging. It is meant to give unpaid caregivers a break and help people stay in the community.

In general, the program is for people who:

• Live in New Jersey, in the community rather than in a facility.
• Need daily care because of a functional impairment or frailty, verified by a medical provider.
• Have an unpaid caregiver who is an adult.
• Meet financial guidelines. People above the income guidelines may still qualify with a cost share.

Services can include companion or supervision services, homemaker help, adult day care, and short-term stays in licensed facilities. There is also a caregiver-directed option that lets the caregiver choose who provides the help, within program rules.

People already enrolled in certain other state programs, such as Medicaid managed long term services, may not be eligible for this one. Eligibility rules and financial limits change, so confirm the current details with your county. You can reach your county's ADRC through the toll-free number 1-877-222-3737 or the Division of Aging Services website.

What other programs might help?

• Your county Office on Aging. Each New Jersey county has an Area Agency on Aging that also serves as the county ADRC. They can tell you about caregiver support, adult day programs, home delivered meals and other local services.
• Medicaid long-term services. If your loved one qualifies for New Jersey Medicaid's long term services and supports, the plan may include respite or adult day services. See NJ Medicaid long-term care basics.
• Veterans benefits. The VA offers caregiver support and some respite for eligible veterans. Ask the VA caregiver support program or a county veterans service officer.
• Long term care insurance. Many policies cover adult day care, in-home care or short stays. Check the policy's terms.
• The Alzheimer's Association. Their 24/7 Helpline (800-272-3900) can point you to local resources for dementia caregivers.
• Local resource sites. Seniors of NJ, a New Jersey resource site for older adults and families, is another place to look for local activities and programs.
• Disability services. For adults with developmental disabilities, the state Division of Developmental Disabilities may offer respite through its programs.

How do I choose an adult day program?

Visit more than one, and ask:

• "What does a typical day look like? Can I see the activity schedule?"
• "What is the staff-to-participant ratio?"
• "Do you have a nurse on site? Can you give medications?"
• "Do you serve people with dementia? How do you handle wandering or agitation?"
• "Can you help with toileting and meals?"
• "Do you provide transportation, and to which towns?"
• "What are the hours, and is there flexibility for working caregivers?"
• "Can my parent try a day before committing?"

How do I plan a short-term stay?

1. Call communities early. Respite beds can be limited, especially around holidays and summer.
2. Ask what paperwork is needed: a recent physical, a medication list, a TB test, insurance information.
3. Ask whether the stay has a minimum length.
4. Pack familiar items and label clothing.
5. Write a one-page profile of routines, likes, dislikes and what calms your loved one.
6. Plan to visit or call on the first day, then step back and actually rest.

A respite stay can double as a trial run if you are considering assisted living or memory care later. See memory care vs. assisted living.

What if my parent will not accept respite?

Many older adults resist because they see it as being "left" somewhere. Some approaches help:

• Describe adult day as a club, a class or a place to volunteer.
• Frame in-home respite as help for you: "I have a doctor's appointment, and I'd feel better if someone were here."
• Start with short visits and build up.
• Keep the same aide or program so it becomes familiar.

For more ideas, see what to do when a parent refuses help.

What does a respite plan look like in real life?

Here is an example. A wife in Bergen County cares for her husband, who has Parkinson's disease and early dementia. She has not had a full night's sleep in months, and she missed her own cardiology follow-up. Her plan ends up looking like this:

• Two days a week at an adult day program with transportation, giving her two free mornings.
• An aide one evening a week so she can see friends or go to a support group.
• A one-week short stay in an assisted living community twice a year, so she can visit her daughter out of state.
• A neighbor and a nephew who each take one Saturday afternoon a month.
• An application to the Statewide Respite Care Program through her county to help with part of the cost.

None of these pieces is dramatic. Together, they let her keep going.

What should I tell the respite provider?

A short written summary helps anyone step in safely:

• Medications, times and who gives them.
• Allergies, diet and swallowing concerns.
• Mobility: walker, transfers, fall risk.
• Toileting needs and routines.
• What upsets your loved one and what calms them.
• Emergency contacts, doctors and a copy of the health care proxy.

How do I make the most of respite time?

Caregivers often fill respite hours with errands. Some errands are necessary, but try to protect at least part of the time for yourself: sleep, exercise, a meal with a friend, your own doctor visits. A break that leaves you just as tired defeats the purpose.

How much respite do I need?

There is no single answer, but most caregivers need more than they take. A regular schedule, such as two days a week at adult day or one afternoon of in-home help every week, tends to help more than an occasional break once you are at the edge. If your loved one needs help at night, you may need overnight coverage to sleep.

How does Connections Care Management help caregivers get a break?

We know the local programs, how to apply and which options fit different needs.

• Our care assessment looks at your loved one's needs and yours, and recommends realistic respite options.
• With in-home care coordination, we arrange and oversee in-home help so you can step away with confidence.
• Through benefits and paperwork help, we assist with program applications and insurance claims.
• Our Rent-a-Daughter service means you have someone you can count on to look in while you rest or travel.

We serve northern New Jersey and Rockland County, NY. Contact us for a free first conversation.