How to Protect Your Parent from Financial Exploitation and Scams

By the care managers at Connections Care Management · Updated November 2026

Who targets older adults?

Financial exploitation comes from two directions.

Strangers and scammers reach out by phone, email, text, mail or at the door. Common schemes include:

• "Grandparent" scams, where a caller pretends to be a grandchild in trouble who needs money fast.
• Impersonation of the government, Medicare, the IRS, a bank or tech support.
• Romance scams that build a relationship online, then ask for money.
• Lottery and sweepstakes "winnings" that require a fee.
• Home repair offers that take a deposit and disappear.
• Investment schemes promising high returns with no risk.
• Requests to pay with gift cards, wire transfers or cryptocurrency, which are almost always scams.

People your parent knows can also exploit them. This includes family members, friends, neighbors, new romantic partners and paid caregivers. These cases are often harder to spot and harder to talk about.

What are the warning signs?

• Unusual bank withdrawals, transfers or checks to people you do not know.
• New credit cards, loans or accounts your parent does not remember opening.
• Unpaid bills, shutoff notices or bounced checks when there should be enough money.
• A new "best friend," caregiver or romantic partner who is very involved in finances.
• Changes to a will, power of attorney, deed or beneficiaries, especially sudden ones.
• Your parent being kept away from family or friends, or never seen alone.
• Secrecy, nervousness or defensiveness about money.
• Stacks of sweepstakes mail, or lots of calls from unknown numbers.
• Missing valuables, checks or bank statements.
• Gift card receipts or wire transfer slips.

Memory changes increase risk, and so do loneliness, grief and recent loss. Scammers know this.

What can we set up now to protect my parent?

Legal planning

• A durable power of attorney naming a trusted agent and a backup, drafted by an elder law attorney. See power of attorney and guardianship in NJ.
• A current will, and for some families a trust with a trustee.

Banking safeguards

• Ask the bank about adding a trusted contact person to accounts, someone they can call if they see something unusual.
• Set up alerts by text or email for large withdrawals or transfers.
• Consider view-only online access for a family member, with your parent's permission.
• Automate regular bills to reduce paper checks.
• Keep a modest balance in the everyday checking account, with savings elsewhere.
• Avoid adding a child as a joint owner without legal advice, because that can create tax, estate and creditor problems.

Credit and identity

• Check your parent's credit reports for accounts they did not open.
• Consider a credit freeze with the credit bureaus.
• Shred sensitive mail and opt out of pre-approved credit offers.

Phone and mail

• Use call blocking on landlines and cell phones.
• Register on the national Do Not Call list (scammers ignore it, but it cuts legitimate sales calls, making scam calls easier to spot).
• Agree on a family "code word" for real emergencies.

At home

• Lock up checkbooks, credit cards, jewelry and important papers, especially when aides or workers are in the home.
• Never let an aide handle your parent's money or cards without clear, written rules and receipts.

How do I talk to my parent about scams?

People who have been scammed often feel ashamed and hide it. Keep the conversation free of blame.

• "I read about a scam where someone calls pretending to be a grandchild. Has anyone ever called you like that?"
• "These people are professionals. They fool doctors and lawyers too."
• "If anyone ever asks you for money in a hurry, call me first. I won't be upset, I promise."
• "No real government office or bank will ever ask you to pay with gift cards."

Share a simple rule: hang up, then call back using a number you already know, like the one on the back of a bank card.

What if the person exploiting my parent is family?

This is painful and complicated. Your parent may love the person, depend on them, or fear losing them. Push too hard and your parent may defend them and push you away. Some approaches:

• Stay connected to your parent, even if you do not like who is around them.
• Write down what you see, with dates and amounts if you have them.
• Talk to an elder law attorney about options, including whether a power of attorney can be changed.
• Bring in a neutral professional who can meet your parent and assess the situation.
• Report your concerns to Adult Protective Services if you believe your parent is being exploited.

What should I do if I suspect exploitation in New Jersey?

1. If there is immediate danger, call 911.
2. Contact Adult Protective Services in the county where your parent lives. In New Jersey, APS serves adults 18 and older living in the community who may be facing abuse, neglect or exploitation. A trained social worker meets with the person and assesses the situation, and investigations are confidential.
3. Call the bank right away. Ask about stopping payments, freezing accounts and filing a fraud report.
4. Report scams to local police. You can also report to the Federal Trade Commission and, for internet scams, the FBI's Internet Crime Complaint Center.
5. Change passwords and contact the credit bureaus.
6. Talk to an elder law attorney about protecting assets going forward.

If your parent lives in a nursing home or assisted living in New Jersey, the state Long-Term Care Ombudsman's office also takes complaints about abuse and exploitation of residents.

What should paid caregivers never do with money?

Most aides and caregivers are honest and caring. Clear rules protect them as well as your parent. Put these in writing with the agency or private caregiver:

• No borrowing money or accepting loans, gifts or "tips" beyond what you have agreed to.
• No use of your parent's credit or debit cards unless you have set up a specific arrangement with receipts.
• No signing of checks, legal papers or contracts.
• No adding their name to accounts, or being named in a will or as a beneficiary.
• Receipts for every grocery or errand purchase.

If an agency aide breaks these rules, tell the agency right away. A good agency will take it seriously.

What records should I keep?

If you are helping with your parent's finances, a simple record protects everyone. Keep a list of accounts and the people authorized on each, copies of legal documents, and a monthly check of bank and credit card statements. If something goes wrong, those records make it much easier for the bank, APS or an attorney to act quickly.

Is it exploitation or just a choice I disagree with?

Adults with capacity can spend their money as they choose, including giving it away. Exploitation involves deception, pressure, undue influence or taking advantage of someone who cannot fully understand. The line is not always clear. A professional assessment of your parent's decision-making can help.

How does Connections Care Management help?

Protection from financial exploitation is one of the services we offer. We are not financial advisors or attorneys, but we see a lot and we know when to bring them in.

• With benefits and paperwork support, we help organize bills and mail so problems surface early.
• Through ongoing care management, regular visits let us notice new people, unusual purchases or unpaid bills.
• When something is wrong, our crisis intervention help can coordinate with APS, attorneys and banks.

We serve northern New Jersey and Rockland County, NY. Contact us for a free first conversation.